You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
