We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
