I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
