the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
