I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
