He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
