the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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