I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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