I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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