I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you win again, gameday.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just found a bag of teeth...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
