you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
