R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
