Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
