Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
