she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
