my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
