Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
