Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
