hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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