I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
