He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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