I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
