I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
