Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
