Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
