I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
