we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
