i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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