she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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