I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
