Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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