he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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