I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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