Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
