maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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