I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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