THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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