I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize