I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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