Someone shit on the floor
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize