A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
