i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm both gender and math confused
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
