Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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