I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
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I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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