They should really pass out barf bags in church
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
