Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
