i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
