Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
