I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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