So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize