Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I lost the right to judge tonight
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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