we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
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He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
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I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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