You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
