I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
