Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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