DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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