I am puke
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
