had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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