all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
