that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
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She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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