i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
