then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize