it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my poor anus
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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