dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
