I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize