You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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